hikaranko | MuseBoxing

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I am. I really, really am. When we got back and Lance's family was there but mine wasn't...

[He frowned, bringing his hands forward. He fiddled a bit with them, making patterns in the dust on the floor.]

I was happy for him. I know how much he loves his family. But I was scared too, you know? All I could think about was how much we'd all gone through, how everyone found their family but me. We came back and my family was in a camp. Why mine? What'd mine do wrong?

[He exhaled, wiping his patterns away.]

I know that's not how it works. And I know they're all safe now. When I woke up with them all there... I kinda thought I'd died. Like, this is way too good to be true, you know?

It makes me feel guilty for wanting to take Yellow back out there again.

[Pidge hums softly in thought, considering his words while watching his fingers as they moved over the floor. She can't help but think about the hangar in the castleship where they used to work, and how the floors were always so immaculately clean - and then she thinks about how that place no longer exists and the thought sits in her gut like a rock.]

...It's different when you're making the actual choice though. I mean when we first climbed into Blue and were suddenly shooting past Kerberos in less than five minutes, there was no way we could've told our families about it.

So maybe you don't have to feel guilty. Maybe now you can just tell them you're going somewhere with Yellow and they'll get to have like, a send off party for you.

[He's still looking at the floor, frowning at it.] But where would I go with Yellow? Where would we go? And what if ... what if not everyone wants to go?

Edited 2018-08-15 21:00 (UTC)