hikaranko

 apparently today's just... one of those days.

do you ever wake up and just... know something is going to go horribly wrong that day? like there's just... something off. you can't place it, and you don't know what exactly is going to happen, but you're sure that something is going to suck up the rest of the day?

well, that was today for me.

so i tried to avoid it by staying home. but this kind of thing is always unavoidable. naturally, it follows me. it finds me online, and puts it all there, and then that's it. that's me being doomed to suffer through the horrible thing that's coming. and the weird thing is that, with me, it's never shit that i'm directly involved in. it's stuff with my friends, or my family, or whatever. and then i somehow end up feeling responsible. i somehow end up feeling like i have to help fix it, when most of the time there's really nothing i can do.

*sigh* honestly, i don't really know what's going on anymore. everything feels so surreal. everything everyone says seems so distant. i feel so... completely disconnected. and i feel like any attempt to bridge that gap, to reconnect, is getting thwarted. thwarted by some stupid paranoia that everything i do isn't right, even if i try to make it look right 'cause people can see right through it.

guh, i dunno. i'm probably just really extraordinarily abnormal and that's that. :\

back to the point. today was not a good day. it was full of weird and stupid and fail and horrible, and i wish it would end a little faster............................................................................................................................................................................................................

meh.