hikaranko

 apparently today's just... one of those days.

do you ever wake up and just... know something is going to go horribly wrong that day? like there's just... something off. you can't place it, and you don't know what exactly is going to happen, but you're sure that something is going to suck up the rest of the day?

well, that was today for me.

so i tried to avoid it by staying home. but this kind of thing is always unavoidable. naturally, it follows me. it finds me online, and puts it all there, and then that's it. that's me being doomed to suffer through the horrible thing that's coming. and the weird thing is that, with me, it's never shit that i'm directly involved in. it's stuff with my friends, or my family, or whatever. and then i somehow end up feeling responsible. i somehow end up feeling like i have to help fix it, when most of the time there's really nothing i can do.

*sigh* honestly, i don't really know what's going on anymore. everything feels so surreal. everything everyone says seems so distant. i feel so... completely disconnected. and i feel like any attempt to bridge that gap, to reconnect, is getting thwarted. thwarted by some stupid paranoia that everything i do isn't right, even if i try to make it look right 'cause people can see right through it.

guh, i dunno. i'm probably just really extraordinarily abnormal and that's that. :\

back to the point. today was not a good day. it was full of weird and stupid and fail and horrible, and i wish it would end a little faster............................................................................................................................................................................................................

meh.

has been activated.

i have pretty much... absolutely nothing to do at the moment. i should probably clean the bedroom because my sister messed it up real good looking for a nice outfit to wear to a wedding... but... i dunno, not feeling very obsessive-compulsive at the moment. i already attacked this couch to make it more roomy... which was actually probably a really big mistake because every time i stretch out on this couch i get really sleepy. i'm really sleepy right now, for instance... and i fell asleep while chatting with my friend on YM last night, so i feel kinda bad about that.

oooh, bad red couch, bad!

and yet at the same time, i sooo approve. this couch has become my bed. XD

bloody hell... what to do...

and now one of my DVD-Rs has stopped working. hmm. not good. will have to try the others to ensure that the drive is still actually functioning.

which reminds me! i had to go and download Advent Children all over again. big file. big big file. was not a fun picnic to download that. took quite a long time. thank goodness the internet on my laptop has stabilized.

ARGH. that's it, i'm getting off this couch! must find something better to do with my time than sleeping the hours away!

*storms off* grr, Red Couch is not good in the daytime!!

or rather, WENT on a field trip. my sister, her boyfriend and i all decided, quite randomly... that we'd drive up to San Francisco. hey, why the hell not? so we packed up some clothes, left Saturday at 3 AM and began the long and daunting 6 hour drive to northern California. to San Francisco, the place of my birth! where i started the story of my life! XD

yes, long trip. lots of sleeping, except for the boyfriend. he is currently our hero, since he drove the whole six hours and stayed up pretty much for a straight 20 hours. but i fell asleep practically every time we got into the car. ehe... -_-;;

well, we arrived at about 8 something at my sister's friend's apartment. they did some much needed catching up (why does everyone have so much drama in their lives??) went around San Francisco. it was cold. which is why i was wearing like, three jackets at the same time. XP we went to Pier 39 for our brunch time and had seafood. i called up my best friend who goes to USF and tried to see if i could possibly meet up with her.

wandered around Pier 39... took some gangsta pictures with Alkatraz in the background... then we watched a bunch of alpha male sea lions fight over who could get the sunbathing platform all to themselves. it was pretty funny, especially since it was two on one and the loner was winning. :P

eventually left Pier 39. i was about to buy a little wooden sword, but decided against it. then we tried to figure out what else we could do. we didn't exactly have a plan of any sort, since we just thought we'd head north on a whim. and I NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. >_< bah. so anyways... we thought we'd let the boyfriend take a much needed nap while parked at Golden Gate park. after about a half hour of napping, my sister and i got bored, so we hatched a wicked plan to visit our old house. XD

successfully convinced the boyfriend to let my sister drive (what is it with guys not wanting their girlfriends to drive? is it an ego thing?) and we started going toward Petaluma and Rohnert Park. neither of us really knew how to get there, since the last time we had visited the place was like, eight bloody years ago. would an 11 year old really pay attention to the freeways and streets used to get somewhere? not really. we were going on pure instinct and familiarity of surroundings.

amazingly enough, we got to our old house. i was freaking out the whole time because i was getting weird flashbacks. no seriously, the last time we went to Rohnert Park, i was probably 11 years old. been a long frikkin' time. we drove into our old neighborhood and looked at our house, and we had a good laugh at the fact that we knew some of our neighboors were still there. had half a mind to knock on their door to say hi, but we got scared and decided not to. be a little bit awkward, i suppose. "hey, remember us? we used to live next door! oh, uh, no, we did not die in a typhoon..." ...i know that sounds weird, but that is literally what happened the last time we stopped in to say hi to them.

plus, those kids are probably six feet tall now. ...one of 'em is younger than me, and i KNOW she's got me dwarfed by now.

*ahem* but yeah. we walked around the playground and drove around to the places we used to go. this donut shop that we would go to every Saturday morning was still there, but we couldn't go inside 'cause it was already closed for the day. went to this comic book store. nice little place, it was. loads and loads and loads to pick from, and i knew i just had to buy something but i wasn't sure what to get. so i just got FMA vol 2, and then regretted it when i saw my sister flipping through an awesome looking book that had an intro by Joss Whedon. i was already paying!! dammit! >_<

we also got discounted bagels. 16 bagels for the price of 12. probably because the cashier people were asian, and we knew just by looking around that they probably hadn't seen any other asians for a LONG TIME. guy was Filipino. he was totally excited. :P

that was our adventure home. we drove back to the city and got ourselves lost. my sister is officially the worst navigator... ever. we tried to go to the Exploratorium, but because we got lost, we arrived like, 15 minutes after the place closed for the day. i wept bitter, angry tears and cursed my sister's incompetence. :P but we still went around the building and took pictures of the big pretty sculpture things.

called up my friend again... regrettably, i was unable to meet up with her. our little travelling party was to meet up with another of my sister's friends for dinner. and hey, i have no control over the car! we still got lost though, and bumped into a few different USFs. didn't get to hop out, though. but anyways... had our dinner and then hung around in the friend's hotel room for a little while. i finished reading my new FMA book and then napped on the bed.

departed back to LA at about 10:30 PM. yup, we was only there for a day! XD got back to LA at like, 3... possibly due to the fact that, while my sister and i slept, the car was made to reach the amazing speeds of 120 mph. :P so yeah, we got back in good time and slept some more at the house. i slept so much... i was sleepy from too much sleeping!! ohh, the lethargy of it all! i'm a slug no matter where i go!

but yes. that was Saturday. it felt like 3 days compressed into 1. it was madness. XD

yay for random road trips!

the bizarrest feeling has come over me. like... seriously. O_O

i'm jealous of everyone going back to school.

and that's just really weird to me, because i've always hated school and classes and all that. but i guess it's not so much the fact that they are going to school... it's more like... they have something to DO during the day. and with me, well, i like being a slug around the house but there are moments where i wish i had an actual something to do.

the only pseudo-productive thing i do at all is work on my fanfic. which is good, 'cause then i move closer to actually finishing the epic thing as opposed to hanging in productive limbo. but my parents have invited me to go back to manila for a while until the spring semester starts in CalState, in March. i wouldn't mind, really. i mean, that internship at the place where they made Hoodwinked is really tempting... plus the shopping...
but if i go to manila, i won't be able to visit chapman! :( driving lessons will be restricted. and i still have to take those english and math proficiency tests on the 18th. but... i'll still feel like a house slug.

engh.

i'm gonna... find something to do now. T_T