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Oct. 26th, 2011 10:11 ami am... really messed up, i think.
i need to stop just saying things. i need to actually do them.
i need to stop just saying things. i need to actually do them.
over and done with
May. 17th, 2011 06:55 pm i'd written something here before, but it's gone now. chrome and LJ ate it.
i dunno. i guess it doesn't matter.
but here's the final thought: i'm all out of faith in myself.
that should do it.
i dunno. i guess it doesn't matter.
but here's the final thought: i'm all out of faith in myself.
that should do it.
apparently today's just... one of those days.
do you ever wake up and just... know something is going to go horribly wrong that day? like there's just... something off. you can't place it, and you don't know what exactly is going to happen, but you're sure that something is going to suck up the rest of the day?
well, that was today for me.
so i tried to avoid it by staying home. but this kind of thing is always unavoidable. naturally, it follows me. it finds me online, and puts it all there, and then that's it. that's me being doomed to suffer through the horrible thing that's coming. and the weird thing is that, with me, it's never shit that i'm directly involved in. it's stuff with my friends, or my family, or whatever. and then i somehow end up feeling responsible. i somehow end up feeling like i have to help fix it, when most of the time there's really nothing i can do.
*sigh* honestly, i don't really know what's going on anymore. everything feels so surreal. everything everyone says seems so distant. i feel so... completely disconnected. and i feel like any attempt to bridge that gap, to reconnect, is getting thwarted. thwarted by some stupid paranoia that everything i do isn't right, even if i try to make it look right 'cause people can see right through it.
guh, i dunno. i'm probably just really extraordinarily abnormal and that's that. :\
back to the point. today was not a good day. it was full of weird and stupid and fail and horrible, and i wish it would end a little faster............................................................................................................................................................................................................
meh.
do you ever wake up and just... know something is going to go horribly wrong that day? like there's just... something off. you can't place it, and you don't know what exactly is going to happen, but you're sure that something is going to suck up the rest of the day?
well, that was today for me.
so i tried to avoid it by staying home. but this kind of thing is always unavoidable. naturally, it follows me. it finds me online, and puts it all there, and then that's it. that's me being doomed to suffer through the horrible thing that's coming. and the weird thing is that, with me, it's never shit that i'm directly involved in. it's stuff with my friends, or my family, or whatever. and then i somehow end up feeling responsible. i somehow end up feeling like i have to help fix it, when most of the time there's really nothing i can do.
*sigh* honestly, i don't really know what's going on anymore. everything feels so surreal. everything everyone says seems so distant. i feel so... completely disconnected. and i feel like any attempt to bridge that gap, to reconnect, is getting thwarted. thwarted by some stupid paranoia that everything i do isn't right, even if i try to make it look right 'cause people can see right through it.
guh, i dunno. i'm probably just really extraordinarily abnormal and that's that. :\
back to the point. today was not a good day. it was full of weird and stupid and fail and horrible, and i wish it would end a little faster............................................................................................................................................................................................................
meh.
fuck it. just... fuck it.
May. 3rd, 2009 02:35 pmIANDO;nNPI'VF-13-NVW
i give up on my computer. it's not cooperating with my every effort to salvage it from destruction, freezing on me before i can burn the file that could potentially save its life onto a disc. just. whatever. i don't give a shit anymore. i'll just... try to get another one and move on. my parents are a lot less than enthusiastic at the idea of getting me a new laptop, which i totally think is bullshit 'cause i've had mine for THREE YEARS while my mom is allowed to go around and buy a new one every time she thinks - note: THINKS - hers has gone obsolete. total bullshit.
i've tried everything with my laptop. virus scanned it at least 20 times with 3 different anti-virus programs - GOOD ones that have worked for me before, as well as cleaned the registry after each. uninstalled programs that were potentially slowing shit down. deleted files that i already have backups of. and still no signs of improvement.
if it hadn't started dying during START UP, i might still be working on rescuing it. but after it did that to me 3 times in a row, i'm just... pissed off. FUCKING pissed off. i even tore the battery pack out to see if by some random miracle, that would help. as usual, no such luck.
... of course that involves getting a job. >___> i still haven't heard back from that one at school, so i'm gonna assume i didn't get it and press onward. i just really need some money right now. i've literally got zilch in the bank and soon i'm gonna be starving. i have absolutely no idea how i'm gonna be doing ANYTHING with the way my luck's been lately.
orungawie fucking pissed off right now.
it's annoying to think i'm so dependent on my damn laptop of all things, but - i don't even know. just- i'm fucking furious, and i hate that it happened so suddenly and i tried to fix it so much and got no results whatsoever. and now it won't even let me TRY. so just- UGH. FUCK IT.
ONUEWIFO;AEEWOEIENOWG EFW
i give up on my computer. it's not cooperating with my every effort to salvage it from destruction, freezing on me before i can burn the file that could potentially save its life onto a disc. just. whatever. i don't give a shit anymore. i'll just... try to get another one and move on. my parents are a lot less than enthusiastic at the idea of getting me a new laptop, which i totally think is bullshit 'cause i've had mine for THREE YEARS while my mom is allowed to go around and buy a new one every time she thinks - note: THINKS - hers has gone obsolete. total bullshit.
i've tried everything with my laptop. virus scanned it at least 20 times with 3 different anti-virus programs - GOOD ones that have worked for me before, as well as cleaned the registry after each. uninstalled programs that were potentially slowing shit down. deleted files that i already have backups of. and still no signs of improvement.
if it hadn't started dying during START UP, i might still be working on rescuing it. but after it did that to me 3 times in a row, i'm just... pissed off. FUCKING pissed off. i even tore the battery pack out to see if by some random miracle, that would help. as usual, no such luck.
... of course that involves getting a job. >___> i still haven't heard back from that one at school, so i'm gonna assume i didn't get it and press onward. i just really need some money right now. i've literally got zilch in the bank and soon i'm gonna be starving. i have absolutely no idea how i'm gonna be doing ANYTHING with the way my luck's been lately.
orungawie fucking pissed off right now.
it's annoying to think i'm so dependent on my damn laptop of all things, but - i don't even know. just- i'm fucking furious, and i hate that it happened so suddenly and i tried to fix it so much and got no results whatsoever. and now it won't even let me TRY. so just- UGH. FUCK IT.
ONUEWIFO;AEEWOEIENOWG EFW
if it's not one thing, it's another...
May. 2nd, 2009 04:25 pmSO. my laptop has spent this entire weekend trying to eat itself. somehow, it's managed to cram a bunch of unidentifiable viruses so far up its asshole that, even after being extracted, fucked the entire fucking system. and after a bout of being able to function normally for about, 3 hours, it decided that being functional hurt, and has now hurtled itself into the abyss of dysfunction.
which leads up to me stealing my sister's laptop and ranting about it on my journal.
how wonderful is all that.
it's probably high time that i go and get a new laptop, but i don't have the money for it. i SO WOULD, though. i'll probably email my parents and harass them about it, because seriously, in this day and age, one simply cannot manage without a laptop. hopefully they'll be up to getting me a new one...
i'm just gonna be PISSED to have to deal with vista. i liked my XP, dammit!! that's why i clung to that sucker for 3 YEARS. and now it's decided that it's fed up with me and is making every effort to die. which is, like, the most depressing shit ever.
and it doesn't help that my tablet's ability to work properly has declined significantly over the past few months. i'll need a new one of those, too. at the very least, i need to find the installation disc for it... oh, AND my flash drive is dead. >_< at least my external hard drive is okay. it's got absolutely EVERYTHING on it right now, so i guess wiping my laptop clean wouldn't be a significant loss.
technology and me, man. it's a love/hate relationship.
which leads up to me stealing my sister's laptop and ranting about it on my journal.
how wonderful is all that.
it's probably high time that i go and get a new laptop, but i don't have the money for it. i SO WOULD, though. i'll probably email my parents and harass them about it, because seriously, in this day and age, one simply cannot manage without a laptop. hopefully they'll be up to getting me a new one...
i'm just gonna be PISSED to have to deal with vista. i liked my XP, dammit!! that's why i clung to that sucker for 3 YEARS. and now it's decided that it's fed up with me and is making every effort to die. which is, like, the most depressing shit ever.
and it doesn't help that my tablet's ability to work properly has declined significantly over the past few months. i'll need a new one of those, too. at the very least, i need to find the installation disc for it... oh, AND my flash drive is dead. >_< at least my external hard drive is okay. it's got absolutely EVERYTHING on it right now, so i guess wiping my laptop clean wouldn't be a significant loss.
technology and me, man. it's a love/hate relationship.
